Love after Love

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It will happen – when you least expect it – stop looking for it!

We’ve no doubt heard those words uttered to us before, from well-meaning friends, colleagues and relatives alike. Usually when we have hit rock bottom, in the aftermath of “The End” of something we thought was forever.

I like to regard myself as somewhat of an expert in this field now – I mean there are only so many times it can happen to you right, before you become an expert?

These comments are well meant, generally, but they can also come from a place of despair. When those all around you have held their head in their hands, whilst you’re giving a blow by blow account of how you caught him chatting to someone else, but that you can understand why he was talking to this person, or worse still that you have decided to take them back again following him being caught in the act with Sarah from the PA team, those that care about you just want you to take a step back and see the person for what they actually are !

At that specific point, I can guarantee you, those that care about you enough to utter those words, want to believe more than anyone that “It will happen” probably because they can’t take one more single call at 10pm  on the topic of this particular person!

But we as the receivers of these comments really need to take it on board too ! We need to believe “It will happen”.

When you’re eyes are fixated on the rear view – you’re not focussed on what’s coming up !

Now this one I know to be particularly true ! Think about driving. Aside from the health and safety implications of permanently looking in your rear view mirrors, I’ve got to admit that I struggle enough to focus on everything that is coming up and ahead of me, even if I am looking in that direction. No joke! But if I were to permanently be looking in those narrow, small mirrors, reflecting all that is behind me, I would never have seen the amazing dress shop that has just opened at the junction in front of me ! That would have been a travesty.

I am guilty too, when moving on, I seem to focus on the what if’s and how I could have done things differently, never allowing myself to move on from that situation, never giving others the opportunity. So get you’re mince pies focussed on all that is ahead of you, stop looking behind, you’re not going that way – believe that great stuff is coming and give yourself the opportunity to meet new and exciting people.

Before you know it you’ve turned a corner, so looking back is pointless, you can’t see it anymore anyway – but don’t panic – as that is when you really know that you are moving on and the magic can really  start to happen.

Love after Love has it’s challenges, but we need to remind ourselves that each person will bring to you different gifts from the last, new lessons, new memories, yet each you will hold dear to your heart for different reasons, and this is ok. This is how we are shaped.

Love after Love can also be exhilarating. Think about how little you knew about yourself, the other sex and life at the beginning of your past relationship – think about how much more amazing it can be next time around. Think about the lessons that you have learned and how you can put those lessons into practice this time around and stop the same mistakes happening again !

At the end of each and every “encounter” that we have we leave more equipped to handle whatever cupid decides to launch at us this time.

Don’t be scared of Love after Love ! Embrace the hell out of it ! With each relationship that ends if we take those lessons and apply them we are closer to becoming an expert !

I apparently have a PhD in it!

 

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