Dating: Modern-styleee ~ Part 1

Being a traditional romantic, this is a hot topic for me. Anyone that has been newly single in  the past 5 years will have witnessed the change in the way in which we date. Obviously, social media and the variety of communication and dating websites, that are now so readily available at the mere tap of an app, has had an enormous impact on how we now date and how we find a “partner”.

But it hasn’t just changed the process. For me it’s changed the feel of romance, of love and everything in between.

Tinder, the ultimate “Hook-Up” site of our time. It would seem that every single girl or guy that I happen to know is on Tinder or has been at some point. There’s no longer a “must-talk-in-hushed-tones” stigma attached to this form of dating, you will find colleagues at work talking about their latest Tinder date, in the kitchen, over coffee, probably with their line-manager in earshot too. The shame of being single and having to resort to a dating site seems to have evaporated in front of our newly single eyes, alongside good old-fashioned romance and the shirts of most of the guys on these sites.

If you have ever been on Tinder (c’mon, its safe to admit it here), or lets face it even if you’ve been swiping right on a friend’s phone, whilst they are “getting the cocktails in” at the bar, for a giggle, you will have undoubtedly come across our nearly-naked-tinder-tw*ts (NNTT’s)!

The NNTT’s are our newest breed of daters. Clearly the NNTT’s missed the memo stating that submission of a profile picture of oneself, in the bathroom mirror, in grubby and somewhat unsatisfying pants, whilst flexing ones muscle(s) is a guaranteed left swipe. No one needs to see that sh*t. Pants up Pedro, Pants Up !

I’m still hunting for the romance in all of this, there must be something in this process that replicates that feeling that you used to get when your eyes met with some hottie across the (insert venue as appropriate). But it would seem that the initial eyes-acrross-a-bar “zingy” feeling has been replaced with a need to have investigative skills that rival the Criminal Minds crew. You may have had a cheeky right swipe, followed by a match (excellent stuff, you think)- but you will now need to dust off those skills, (and very probably a bottle of red) to decipher the below:-

  • Which one of the 14 individuals in your profile picture are you, oh … silly me … 4 pictures later confirms that you aren’t the hottie I was hoping for from your profile pic, you are the mate to the hotties left
  • Is this guy a bit dumb … how on gods green earth could he be so stupid as to put a picture on Tinder of his child
  • Wait a minute, is that his child though, or is it his friends child, or maybe it’s his ex girlfriends child (she also seems to also be in the profile pic, that’s odd)
  • He looks almost entirely different in each of his pictures, this can’t be right, which one is the most up-to-date, several screen shots and zooms later … reveal your worst fear
  • Hang on a minute, everyone’s clothes seem very dated, maybe this picture was taken in 1989? What is going on here

This is almost always followed by the following general feeling:-

  • Can I be ####’ing arsed … can I, really, has it come to this

And then the inevitable happens, “briiiiiinnnnng” your Tinder NNTT alert has gone off. Your newly matched NNTT has sent you a message, what could it say I wonder?

Hi, You’re beautiful, I love your pictures, have you got any more pictures, maybe some with less clothes on ….

I punch a response into my phone, before launching my phone violently at the sofa

Dick !

They say romance is dead ? Well, yeah, I definitely am beginning to wonder!



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